…If anyone ever tells me what that means.

 I’m sitting here with a Dixie cup of noodles, a diet lipton green ice tea, and fuzzy bathrobe and slippers. Yes, I’m pretty comfortable. Quite frankly, I’m in thinking mode. Thinking about what’s going to be happening to me, and my relationship in the next few months. I’ve been on tons of USMC WIVES websites, and blogs, and forums, just reading, researching, trying to find comfort in what I’m feeling, and trying to prepare myself for what’s coming, and how I’m going to feel, but every blog, forum, website, and even person I’ve spoken to has told me that there’s no way to prepare for how I’m going to feel. Is that so? How am I supposed to survive if I can’t even fathom the amount of pain I might feel when he leaves. He’s not even getting officially deployed yet, so… what’s going on with me… Then it’s like the military is trying to tease us girlfriends and wives. They leave us for 18 weeks or so, come back for a few DAYS, and then leave for job training for another few months… What the hell… A close mutual friend of mine and my boyfriend’s has gone Army. He leaves next week, and honestly, I feel like if his relationship falls apart with his girlfriend, that it’ll freak me out, and make me feel as if mine will fall apart as well, but at the same time, I have so much faith, and trust, and love for this man that I can’t even come to the thought of leaving him, or him leaving me for that matter. I don’t want to sound crazy or anything, but I’m just saying…I love him that much… He means everything to me… And seeing him achieve his goals, and lifelong dream means the world to me also. AND being there beside him while he achieves his lifelong dream makes me so happy. I can’t explain it… I hope there are going to be more Marine Corp wives, and girlfriends, who’ll put imput into this… Because I don’t want to go through this alone…

 P.S… I just spilled my noodles everywhere /:

 Guess I saw that coming.

Photo:

 My Future Marine and I on the way home from his High School Graduation. 
 I love you<3

Military

Entrance

Processing

Station

I know, he’s getting close. Am I scared? No. I’m too damn proud at the moment. It’ll probably hit me a little later. After hearing about how he did on his ASVAB, and how because of his score, he’s more likely to get his desired MOS, I’m so proud of him. The physical was the scariest part for ME. I know how picky the military is (Well, I thought I knew, until he told me he was almost disqualified for his slight stutter), scary. Picky too. It’s why I can’t enlist. When I heard I couldn’t enlist, I was kind of disappointed, but not too much, because it was just an option. Now it’s not because of me being a recipient of Open Heart Surgery. I’m so proud of him though. I’d rather be by his side, and awaiting his returns from deployments, than actually get deployed D: I know, I’m weird. Next step: Paris Island. Now, I’m not scared about the intense Physical Training they’ll put him through, he’s done most of it before with NJROTC and everything. I’m not Scared about not seeing him for 18 weeks. Nervous? Ehh, maybe a little. But by the time he leaves, I’ll be back in school, so at least I won’t be sitting around doing nothing but crying and watching Military Documentaries (I’ve taken to them lately. I think it’s going to become worse when he leaves haha). I love him, and I’m here for him through it all. I can’t wait to toast to my Marine<3

Photo:

Me & My future Marine<3

So, I’ve decided to document my experiences. On love, life, and luck. Let’s start with a little background? My name is Tasha. I’m 17 years old, and madly in love. His name is Emanuel. He’s a future Marine. I know, scary right? It’s crazy. My whole life, I’ve been surrounded by military veterans. My father was in the Navy, along with his older Sister. My grandfather on my mother’s side was in the Army, and my Grandfather on my step-mother’s side is a retired Marine (‘Nam). I’ve never been the “In-Love” girl. That girl you see in the hallways with her boyfriend all the time, holding each other, kissing noses, sharing food, etc. But at the moment, I am. I see myself marrying this boy. Cliche right? Yeah Yeah. That’s what Tumblr’s for. He makes me feel so… alive, loved, etc. I’m not that girl that only sees her boyfriend. I have this best friend. We weren’t friends at first. I really wanted to be her friend, but she was taken D: Her name is Kaity. We’ve just recently gotten close. She gets it. She understands me, what I’m going through with my boyfriend. She’s been there for me through stuff that I expected to go through alone, and I know she’ll always be there<3 

 When my boyfriend first told me his decision to enlist, I found it admirable. Then I fell in love with him, and found it scary. Then I became selfish, and didn’t want him to go (but of course I never told him that directly), and then, I felt amazing about his decision. To see how passionate he is about something, and see him pour his heart and soul into accomplishing something, and when one benchmark has disappeared, seeing him create another one. I don’t think of the Marine Corps as HIS future, I think of it as OUR future. I want to keep all of his letters he writes me from Paris Island, and I want to tell him in every single letter that I love him. I want to finally receive that phone call, informing me of his upcoming graduation of boot camp, and to watch him become an official United States Marine. I want to marry him, live in an extraordinary house for a month, and move around all the time with him, I want to watch him leave for his deployments, and not cry, because I’ll be busy taking care of our home that we built, I want to wait for him at the airport on his homecomings, and celebrate with him. I want to grow old with him. 

My main focus for this blog/diary is to entrust my experiences, feelings, and lack thereof to an inevitable audience. No junk like GIFs, and pictures taken by other photographers than me. Every blog entry will come with a photo, a description, and why I chose that photo. 

Photo:

I chose this photo because it is my favorite of my boyfriend, and I. It shows the happiness he makes me feel.